Playboy explains how to tell real breasts from fake. I’ve had little difficulty in this area in terms of feeling them and then saying, “These are hard and less desirable. You have implants, madame.”

But this video will help identify just by sight, which is certainly effective in many situations when touching can land you with a black eye or in a holding cell.

sjbdallas: I don’t really care if they’re real or not.

hatdrop: you’ll care if those pair of breasts come with dongtacular dong

zigardne: If you can grab them, they’re real!