Live Science spends 23 paragraphs (23 fucking paragraphs) explaining why the pigment of skin varies. The answer can be summed up in one word: “equator.”

So, why did people become white?

fileerror: So they could get a loan and hail a cab.

WordsnCollision: Where are the rainbow-hued humans?

jdtix: San Francisco.

We get what you’re going for, McDonald’s, with this whole 365 Black, “we love black people,” “equal-oportunity employer,” “we serve fried chicken sandwiches” game. But step it down a notch. This could even make Michael Richards blush.

DeadliestSnatch: Didn’t we decide separate wasn’t equal?

alcimedes: I’m exploiting it!

wickensworth: It just redirects to KFC.com

EyeAreRandom: Where’s the 365 White?

jasonrh: 365 White? That would be racist.

trizzleatl: We don’t need a website to feel good about ourselves.

gankige: Oh boy, I can’t wait for 365spic to launch now! (Don’t even pretend to be offended, I’m Cuban-American.)

chesterogilvie: Can I see your Cuban-American card please sir?